Weekend

It was a long week. Only three days in the classroom but it felt like forever. Regaining control after being away was harder than it's ever been. Some good things did happen though.

1. I got DB switched out of my class Wednesday morning. He tried to come into my class on Thursday and on Friday he stood by my door, but I just turned him away, because he is not welcome in my classroom.
2. Xander was talking up a storm Thursday morning. He seemed to think everything he was saying was the funniest thing. The one he really liked was, "Could you tie my shoe?" He would say it and just start laughing.
3. My kids actually did well yesterday morning. When I was meeting with groups I let them pick what centers they went to. It actually went very well. I may be on to something here.

In the past week I've also realized that an idle mind contains negative thoughts, at least in me. I tend to think of myself as a rather mellow, easy-going person. But I do also have a jealous/competitive side. And, oh how I don't like it. The one thing I want the most right now seems to be the one thing I cannot gain or maintain. All this negative feeling does is make me harbor ill will towards a person. And this ill will is the worst feeling. Feeling very jealous of a person, to the point of wishing to distance myself from them in all possible ways, just so I no longer feel that jealous urge. Wondering, why not me. I have yet to find a reason why. And of course tonight was just filled with reminders of what I long for, and I am not sure if people really notice, but it does feel obvious, at least for me. There are only a couple of things that would be able to settle my mind, but distances seem great. There is a huge gap that needs to be crossed.