Last day of the year

Today was the last day for students. I still have two more days with the staff of J. F. Wahl Elementary. We'v'e got to check in all of our material as well as do some professional development. Today was fun. I had some students ask if they could give each other hugs, and after their hugs some of them were teary-eyed. I had 12 of my 19 students show up. I think that was the largest percent of any first grade class, just like last year. I'm not gonna tell me kids they do not need to come to school on the last day.

I had some students write me notes today.

"Dear Mr, Taylor

We are gone to miss you y we are in 2 grad. Also you are gone to miss us to and we will be so sad if we dont see you agand but we will still love you so you dont need to be sad so muth.

Love,
Kresha"

"Dare Mr. Taylor,

we are a good praren. me and Mr. Taylor is have fun. We get to to (?) 2 grad.

form Mr.
Taylor"

(Ahhh, Drica. So hyper her thoughts are not always straight.)

"Dear. Mr. Talor

we are going to go to the second 2-grade we will have fun at 2-grad! Il it is a good school. Il at 2-second grade!

Love,
Mr. Talor"

(Keino is doing so much better, but we've got a ways to go with writing.)

I will miss them all. I know that I will see most of them next year in school, but it is sad tosee them go. They pushed me in a way that my class last year never did. And as much as some of the students pushed me, I'm sure I will miss them the most.

I also got some of my scores back. While not everyone was low risk, everyone did some pretty remarkable things. Der went from reading 1 word per minute back in January to reading 20 words per minute the other week. I believe that was the greatest percent increase in my class. I also had another student read one passage at 175 words per minute. His median score on three passages was 97 words. There was also a girl that had a median score of 100 words per minute. I think that my class this year did better than my class last year.

Next year will be even better.

Day nearing the end of the year

There was the end of the year celebration this past Saturday. It was at Hopson Farms and it resulted in an email being sent out by a member that did not like the setting. Other than the late breaking offense it was a good night. It made me think about a couple of things.

First one is how people are moving on. Some people are moving on because of further education. Others are moving on because they want to teach in other areas. There seem to be two schools of thought on that sort of move. All people seem to want to go to better schools (better organized/performing charter schools). That's all well and good that you want to go to a good school, but it seems almost like the antithesis of the mission of the program. To help education inequity why would you go to a school that has a proven track record. Yes, they may serve underserved students, but it does not seem like one person can make much of a change, especially if it is going well. I did find someone that has similar feelings to me regarding the topic. She is going to a charter school because she wants to learn how they are run/what makes them good, and then try to replicate it in a Chicago Public School. Who knows. There may be more with similar noble intentions, but only one person expressed those to me. I was proud of her.

The other thought that came to mind was about Big Goals. That is a concept that is big in TFA. You need to have Big Goals to know where you are going. You've got to track your students' growth in meeting those goals. After events of the past week I started to reflect on goals of a different nature. Normally they are academic goals measured by some objective metric. Things like percentages and points and things like that. I was just thinking of goals that were appropriate for my kids. Sadly I never really expressed the goals to them, but honestly, I was not always aware of them myself. I am immensely proud of all of my students, but some come to mind. Two of the biggst problems have really grown and impressed me.

First one is Xander. Coming to me not really working or talking, and he's started to do both. Granted they are not where they should be, but he has grown greatly. Last week my kids were doing DIBELS testing (basic literacy skills) and there was one goal that I set for him. That he would score points on the Word Use Fluency test. They are given a word and directed to put it into a sentence. In practicing with him I would give him a word and he would respond with the frame, "I like to play with my _______." It did not matter what it was, could be "chair," "because," or "air." His frame did change for a couple of words so he did notice the beginnings of tense and voice. I ended up laughing with/at him because for the first time he got it, and was not struggling. The second "verge of tears" moment this year. I could hardly express how proud of him I was. And today in the afternoon he was trying to do double digit addition. He has just grown so much. All there is is anecdotal records of this astounding growth. I don't know a way to put developmental milestones into numbers to track.

The other one is Mr. Dil. He was the one that, at one point, insisted that I wanted to kill him with knives and that I've killed other people. Generally not being a violent person I was really taken aback by his comments. He made teaching difficult for me in my classroom for a good couple of months. Now, whatever bug got in him, isn't there any more. He funtions well in the class. Occasionally he still gets in a snit about something, and mumbles what's wrong. But it is so much more benign now. He'll still get upset and start crying at times, but there have been no negative comments about me since Spring Break.

For whatever failings there have been this year I will live with those victories. Are they momentous? Depends on your lens and perspective. Without knowledge of the students, how can you judge what was significant for them? They may not be the sought after "Significant Gains." But in terms of development as capable people, I know of nothing more significant than the ability to talk, be motivated to work, and develop anger management skills. Everyone in room 610 at J. F. Wahl Elementary School in Helena, Arkansas has made "Significant Gains" as capable human beings.

Day of the Weekend

Things were good this week. A couple of unusual days (irregular schedule is all) but surprisingly well. Feeling of unease has dissapated.

I had been confusing Xander with the "pulling my thumb off" trick. It would blow his mind and then he would try to take my thumb off, and then try to take his thumb off, before announcing to me that he couldn't do it. Well. the other day he figured it out. And he has tried to show me. And I made him show Mrs. Austin yesterday and he was so proud of himself. He even tried to add little dramatics.

I also had my kids thinking more on their own and solving their own problems this week. As a result of not turning in homework, I had kids in during activity and they were asking me if they could read, write, and do extra pages of work to make up for missing homework. Sure...by all means. I even had a kid try to read "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I also had some kids act very rude and then want to apologize to the person they interrupted. I've not seen my kids do that all year.

Today was the Delta Day of the Arts at Delta State University. Various art related workshops and I got to lead a group of 1st-3rd graders around for most of the day. We did watercolor painting, collages, swing dancing, and paper clip jewelery. I enjoyed it, but it was long. Very long. Plus a stuffy ride back on the bus. I think my kids enjoyed it. There was a current student and a former student, so I got to talk to them a bit, and get talked at/to a bit as well.

Tonight I had a flashback about someone I knew. Saw something that reminded me of a person and it made me freeze in my tracks. Found out somethings about people. I also received a compliment about my classroom. A higher-up said that she had heard good things about my class from my principal, but hadn't actually talked to her, so it struck me as strange. She said the compliments might have come through my PD who I'm sure has talked with my principal. So I was kind of left with a vague feeling of being complimented. It's good enough for me to sleep on.

Day of return

Not been feeling right recently. Just a sort of general unease, like something is missing. Not quite sure what it is, but I'm trying to work through it. The past couple of weeks have been crazy at school. There were the Benchmarks last week and a Multicultural Fair at school this week. A good dose of lunacy in scheduling was also thrown into the mix.

There have been a couple of bright moments.

1. Last week I had my kids write books about two pharaohs. It was a six day process, but I'm pretty happy with the product. The goal was process and I think most started to pick up the process of writing. I will just need to be consistent with the stages.
2. I found a trick that absolutely blows Xander's mind. The whole fake-like-you're-taking-your-thumb-off. After I show him he gets a big grin and then he tries to take my thumb off. Since he has such sensitive hands his grip is light, barely pulling. Then he tries to take his thumb off. It ends with him saying, "I can't do it Mr. Taylor." Quick way to bring a smile to my face. He can even look at my hands and not realize that I have one thumb tucked into a fist.
3. I finished my Arkansas History course. I got an A and no longer need to worry about the online course.
4. I completed my Praxis III yesterday. It is a formal observation by a state trained assessor. The course and the Praxis III are the last hurdles to my getting a standard 5 year teaching license.

Day of whoa

Missed yesterday and went to school today. Not the easiest day, and I'm not even really sure why. Pretty rough day with some of my kids.

1. I was not the only one at my school that had a rough day. Other teachers that I talked to had pretty rough days. Rough days at school are not necessarily a good thing, but it made me feel better that I was not alone.
2. I had another student post 1.5 years of growth in reading today. Kev read a book that was at a pretty high level and he was able to answer questions and tell me about what he read. It was interesting because as he was reading he must have been splitting brain power because there were some words he could not read in the text, but in isolation was able to read them. Even with the bumps in decoding he was able to comprehend the book very well.
3. At my faculty meeting my principal bragged on me. She said that I was basically the only teacher that was following the schedule. It's funny because she came in and saw me this morning, and Tuesdays are generally off schedule days. But whatever. If she says I'm on schedule then I must be doing something right.

Day of news

It is that time of year. The time of year when the schedules get mangled a bit. It's rough, but doable again. I did it last year, I can do it this year.

Kaydie moved to the other side of town and is now attending another school. I'm down to 19. She moved during break so she has been gone for a while. I hope things are going well for her family.

Since the Thursday before my spring break I have had one student only show up for two days. Two days attendance in ten possible days. I got my certified mail back saying that the address was vacant, so I'm not sure where exactly he is. The school's speech pathologist said that her assistant has seen the boy every day at the ballpark here in Helena. The boy is here in town, just not coming to school. She said that it was because his dad cut all his hair off. It's something completely new to me. I've heard about kids getting upset about haircuts, but enough so that their parents let them miss nearly two weeks of school? Crazy. That combined with the fact that he told me a couple of months ago that his dad is in "Mississippi Jail" because the police found something in his car that wasn't his. Not quite sure what exactly to believe.

Speaking of jail, it turns out that Sunday night/Monday morning 4 or 5 inmates escaped from the county jail, which is at the courthouse on Cherry Street, right downtown. So my school was on lockdown. Interesting way to start the week. Hearing conflicting stories from people, like possible shootings (which were dismissed by the police chief and my housemate that works at a bank), but nothing actually on the news. By today all had been recaptured, but not without incident.
One of my boys had been really out of it this week. I really got on him today and I called his mom during lunch to try to figure out what was going on, but I left a message. She called me up after school and gave me an idea as to why he might be a little distracted.
It turns out his mom's brother (boy's uncle) was shot. By one of the inmates. In the back. After a robbery. You know what...that would kind of knock me off for about a week. He is currently at the Med in Memphis and I hope he pulls through.

Everytime I think I've seen/heard it all, something new comes along.

The art teacher also sent me a student from another class because the boy's pants had ripped. Three safety pins to fix his pants. They had torn right down the back side, about as far as they could. Fascinating the thigns that happen during a normal day.

Even with all of that stuff I'm not down at all. You just kind of shrug it off and keep on rolling.

1. Nearly every student I've listented to in the past week and half has met my reading goal of 1.5 years of growth. I just need to get through the whole class to find all my numbers.
2. Most of my kids are doing better with coins. They are getting better at counting mixed coins, as well as coming up with ways to show different amounts.
3. Walking around during writing showed me that my kids are really trying out the things that I talk about during the mini-lessons.
4. Dil has been phenomenal since spring break. Only a couple of issues, but he's been energetic, laughing, smiling (you know, like a first grader should be). We just need to eliminate the chair vault from his repertoire and we'll be alright. Better attitudes make me feel better. And really seem to improve my standing in the eyes of my principal.

I'm starting to see things that we've talked about since the beginning of the year start to gel. It's a good feeling to notice that I've made an impact.

Day

This week has been alright. My kids have come back with a better focus, for the most part, and I have seen across the board improvement.

One student did move. Kaydie told me that she would move to West Helena, a big move in town. Now she goes to Beechcrest. She was one of my better students, but could have a slight attitude. Now her cousin, who used to be her next door neighbor is saying that he is moving. This takes my total to 19.

1. Xander may have internalized the strategy of stretching out words to figure out the letters to write for them. In a little conference I asked him how he could spell a word and he said, "stretch it out," in his cute little way.
2. Most of my kids seemed more concerned about the flow of activities in the classroom. I'm hearing more kids use kind messages and requests. They have even said things like, "May y'all please be quiet in here." Really interesting turn of events in my class.
3. I've gotten my kids to say that they really like words like delicious and diabolical and horrible. We've been talking about describing words and adjectives during writing. Hopefully next week we can start to incorporate them into our writing.
4. I did a reading level check on one student. Tak completely blew me away. in an above level book, she read it at about 100 wcpm. Standards say at the end of the first grade they need to be at 40 wcpm. She was also reading a book that was at about a mid-second grade level. She has surpassed her reading goal for the year and now it needs to be bumped up. I hope I can find more encouraging news as I go through the other students.

All in all it's been a good week back.

Day of back to work and a late night

Yes, this entry is very late at night, been busy all day and all night.

First day was back, though it took me till about 2:00 to have the same problem that I had earlier. One child decided that he would be the straw that broke this camel's back. I overreacted, but apologized afterwards.
One of my kids may have moved, I'll see what tomorrow brings.
I tried to introduce a couple of new things today, did not necessarily take off well, but I'm not going to give up on them just yet. Slowly introducing more of the Brain Book. The next part will be a reading rate (wcpm) chart so they can see how they are reading better, as opposed to having reading level only in there. I just need to have more accurate, precise, and concise explanations for these things. I tend to be long winded, and that is not good for first graders. Also need to make more of an effort to model correct work.

This evening I felt a push in a good direction. While reading over some summaries of education articles I have come across two potential growth points for myself. By growth point I mean potential career turns. Both of them invovle starting something new at my school.
The first one involves changing the work atmosphere and collegial nature of my school, especially in terms of professional/staff development. I think it the staff worked together in more efficient and effective ways they students achievement could improve. There is definitely work I need to do in terms of research and background reading, but it is worth it. If implemented correctly it could definitely help the students at my school, and potentially the whole district. We just need to work on being more reflective. The district is close, but they seem to need just that extra nudge to get them going in the right direction.
The second involves a comment that my Grade Level Chair made to my principal, and some talks that I've had with her. I do enjoy working with the lowest students. It is something that a couple of teachers at my school have noticed. I just love the moement where they get it. It makes my job worth it. Now, with that comes a problem though. The students that need that one-on-one time can hardly get it effectively in the classroom with potentially 20 other students. Some of them get that help during interventions, but sometimes if TAs or parapros run them they do not get the best effect/benefit. There is a program called Reading Recovery that I think would benefit some of the lowest first graders at my school. It is a big system to initiate and operate, but I think I could be an effective Reading Recovery Teacher. I think setting up the system in the school would be difficult at first, but I would be willing to see it through its start-up period. There would be some difficulties, sure, but I think they benefits would offset it.
This being only my second year and not exactly on the most solid footing, I'm just trying to figure out the best way to go about floating my idea around. It would be difficult work, but I completely believe it would be worth it.

Day of ups and downs

hrmmm.

First off for the bad news, or not exactly the best/wanted news, I was denied for both positions in Houston. Again a form letter of rejection. Not nearly as upset this time around. I had been holding off on checking the email since Friday. Finally checked it today after school, and the stin wa not as much as expected. I checked my email with kind of a "meh to whatever" attitude. Yeah it stings with jealous tinges. I sent an email back to the people with a couple of questions, so we'll see what happens.

On to better news.

1. My principal finally got around to observing me yesterday. Kind of a botched lesson on static electricity in my eyes. Evidently she liked it, even though it didn't really take on the kids. I guess my honest and forthright reflection afterwards was a good thing.
2. Dill had a mostly good day. First in a while. Not perfect, but progressing. That's something I like to see in all my kids.
3. Cher's father is seemingly more helpful. He is showing real concern about his daughter, which is a good step.
4. My principal also let slip some complementary words from my grade level chair. At least I'll take them as a complement. They both recognize the children that I like to work with.
5. As a result I had a really good conversation with my principal. I felt like an educator having a discussion with a colleague, not just an employee talking to a boss. She seemed to respect and appreciate the things that I was saying.

Another bit of good news. I'll be teaching first grade next year. Fresh batch. I get to tell the kindergarten teachers tomorrow.

Day of weekend bundle of nerves

So my plans for implementing a new idea in my classroom have hit a snag. I've not gotten feedback I've expected. I'm also being observed a couple of times this week, so I'm not to sure about implementing new ideas. They will probably be implemented and the observers will just have to deal with seeing something new starting. Yes, I know it's the week before spring break, and I should probably wait until after break, but I've waiting too long already to get my kids more accountable. Now that testing is done, I'm glad to have my normal schedule back. I'll just have to get into the swing of planning for it soon.

Biggest thing. Right now, I'm scared. More than I should be. I've never been so nervous in my life. This is a completely irrational fear, but I've not been able to overcome it. I applied for a job to work at the Summer Institute in Houston, and I received an email on Friday stating if I was accepted for a position or not. I did not handle the first rejection well, not at all. And now I'm too nervous to check this one. People have been asking me if I got it, and I keep telling them that I've not checked my email. Monday I have to do it, I just need to find the courage and strength to deal with whatever the result is. Right now I do not have it.

Day of Testing is DONE!

Well, actually that happened yesterday for my kids, and I think that there is still more testing to be done in the upper grades tomorrow, and one of my kids has make-ups to do (but he is about 60% attendance so far this marking period).

Yes, ITBS testing is done for my kids. The exact same test form as last year. Same questions that just kind of tweaked me last year tweaked me again this year. The cultural relevance of tests is a factor that needs to be addressed. Plus, one question to asses one concept is also a little wrong. Snapshots do not exactly tell what is outside the frame. Overall I think my kids did well. I did not feel as frustrated with seeing my kids mark wrong answers. It might be that they were actually performing better, or I reminded myself not to look so much, or I just calmed down in the room, or it was the fact that my principal decided to help proctor in my room. I'm not sure why, but I think it's something the TA that was helping me the other couple of days said. There are times when I feel like there is a lot of stuff going on behind my back, and I really don't know who I can turn to. But I try not to let things like that get to me, especially if it is just a TA.

Now we can resume real, regularly scheduled teaching. We have been sitting in groups and we are trying to work on Cooperative learning. A bumpy road, but we will get there. They have energy, they are sharp and they can help each other learn.

(Historical note for myself - The past two days with Dilland - turning point beyond what I can help with)

On to the list of things that went well.

1. Nearly all of my kids were able to work in centers and actually accomplish the work, and write it down correctly in their travel log. All had accomplished different levels, but the structure was there.
2. One girl was able to read nearly all of "Fox in Socks" with me on the carpet today. We've read it every day this week to help us listen to rhyming words in preparation of writing couplets. I even had one of my most speech problemed students joining in and trying to read the book of tongue twisters.
3. My students were better at telling time. They worked in groups to read clocks and tell times and I think that helped some of them. With just a little more practice we should be able to effectively tell time to the half hour.
4. I went to the 5-6 grade basketball game at the Community Center and I saw the team from my school beat the team from the KIPP school. The final score was 59-14. Kind of a blowout honestly.

One more slightly jumbled/test affected day. On Monday, though it is the week before spring break, we will be jumping back in hard core. We've still got a lot of ground to cover, and I really want to get this new tracking/accountability system down.

day making up

Yes. It's been a while since I've posted. Been kind of scrambling this last week trying to get ready for testing. Practicing for it all last week. Righ now it is all in my kids hands. I've got to test them an hour a day for the next three days. Tried to take pictures of them. Will try to post a few.

These are photos from what caused the snow day a month ago. The first two were taken at 6 am, when I found out school was cancelled. The last one was taken at 11, when I rolled out of bed that day.











This last one is of two of my students that had lunch in my room with me (best behavior for the previous week). Talk quickly went to that of doing the splits, so they decided that they would both do it and insisted that I take a picture of them.




Had a professional development day this Saturday. Went fairly well. I ended up generating an idea of something I want to try in my classroom. It will take me just about all week to implement it and I would not really be able to use it until next week (when real teaching resumes), but there is a chance I could start it on Thursday (we finish testing on Wednesday). My idea is to give all of my kids "Brain Books." Basically just folders with tracking sheets in them. Right now I'm trying to instill in them the notion that if they work hard, they can achieve success and get smarter. I spent most of the night trying to figure out what sort of information would be in it and what it would look like. I'm trying to get my students to be more independent. The hope is that they will be capable of looking at this folder, using it, and realizing what they need to do to accomplish the goals that are laid forth within. It will be more work for me to get it up and running and maintaining it, but I think my kids and I are capable of using them. I just do to want to introduce anything more to them for the first part of this week, especially if I am not completely sure what I want.

I've got an idea, but before I present it to them I need to know what I want out of it. I need to know what it will look like, when they will use it, how they will use it, where it will be located (wll they be able to take it home?) and other questions of the sort. I've not been this energized about a classroom idea in a long time.

Day of life

Today was good. I got up early, went to the gym for about an hour. I'm actually enjoying working out. When I came back the weather started to get interesting. Supposed to take an exam for Arkansas history, but a thunderstorm delayed it for an hour. After waiting for about 30 minutes after thunder I began the 65 minute exam. Around minute 50 I started to notice the sky getting dark and thunder starting up. About that time Phillips County was placed under a Tornado warning, one had been sighted in Dumas. We just had wind and rain (enough to flood portions of front and back yard). Rotational winds, but no tornadic activity. One did touch down one county north of us, in Lee County. Wasn't able to get to Memphis like I had originally planned, but I'm heading there on Friday to meet up with my sister and her boyfriend. Guess I'll have to take them with me shopping.

There was a Chinese New Years potluck at a corps members house and I went to that. Did not bring anything myself because I was doing other work today. I had a good time. After that there was a dance party at another house. Also fun, especially the salsa dancing instruction video.

Between parties my housemate asked me if I had any romantic interests here in the Delta. Answered him honestly and said no. I could not think of one that would be easy to act on. That which was there has kind of faded away. Not sure why, maybe reality setting in, or other reasons. Because there happen to be none does not mean that I would not like it, or have one elsewhere. Just kind of going through life. I just keep thinking of "Your My Home" by Billy Joel. The answer seems to be somewhere in there.

and things happen

The parent called today, and for some reason the office buzzed me to talk to her, in the middle of class, on an already slightly chaotic day. There are days when I reflect on what has happened and I'm convinced that I'm a bad teacher and should not be doing what I'm doing. There are times when the bad things seem overwhelming and good is hard to track down. The general atmosphere in my room is not a good one. There is not the kind of hustle that I need in my classroom and as a result the kids are moving slow, long transitions, and more opportunities to talk with their neighbors. With a couple of kids I talked to today they were able to tell me that what they were doing was wrong and that they were making bad choices, but They still don't have that thought before they act. It's rough, there seems to be no consequence that stops them, and when I try to praise/reward them those that don't get it just get upset and the mood falls apart even more.

1. One good thing. For writing we did a sequence of events for a story we read on Tuesday. Nearly all of the students were able to tell me what happened at the beginning, the middle, and the end of the story. We'll see how that carries over into the test tomorrow on sequence.
2. McNeal came to my room this morning in a funk and, with a bit of prompting, I was able to get him to tell me what was making him upset. I'm trying to work on proper expression with him and he has started to internalize the messages and the proper actions. he still needs prompting and coaxing, but he knows what he should do, and that's a first step in anger management. He came up with some things that he could do to help his mood, but nothing can really help not getting good sleep. He tried so hard though.
3. Xander greeted me at the door with a very strong, "Helloooooo there." I just doubled over laughing at my door. He had never done anything like that first thing in the morning.

A new leaf needs to turn over in my room. I feel like I'm back to my first year with everything seeming to be out of control in my room.

Day...23 is a tough number to have

So my number has been 23 the past two days. If one student makes it to school it will make it a chart topping 24, one short of the legal limit. Yesterday went well, today kind of fell apart. One student decided that he wasn't going to work mid-way through the morning, but somehow made it back to my room after his mother was called. Gave me a headache, his behavior did, and I was not the best at coping with it.

Also learned something about a student that I didn't really need to know, and I really don't want to have to follow up and learn more about it and fact check. If it pans out to be true it becomes a problem greater than me. There havebeen glimpses of it and it makes me sad if it is true. And it's all about my focal student.

On to good things.

1. According to my grade level chair her kids grades are not that great this marking period either. Kind of wishing for kids to do bad, but not really. It just makes me realize that my kids are not the only ones having a problem since Christmas.
2. In the course of one math problem I was able to change a child's mood. Monty (a guest) went from crying face down on the carpet saying, "I can't do this," about addition and subtraction facts, all the way to me boosting his confidence and getting him smiling and laughing. If I could transfer that malleable intelligence to all my kids, I would be in a better spot. For now I'm content to get this student believing that he can accomplish.
3. Had dinner with a friend and good converstation.
4. Took a practice quiz for my AR History class and got a 5/5. Now I just need to figure out when I'm taking the actual first exam. It will happen by Sunday.

Right now I've got to sleep and think about what Seuss Book to decorate my door with. Never really decorated my door, so we'll see how it goes.

day of umm...excuse me?

Got called out by a parent in front of my kids...yeah that was fun. All over a pink hat...for a boy. Whatever. I may have been beaten into submission because nothing even seems ridiculous anymore. The fact that my numbers jumped to 24 because my principal moved students at a group of parents request, doesn't really get a reaction out of me, but of nearly everyone I tell, seems telling. I'm just going to plug away and do what I can to get the students ready for the test. Everyone I tell seems to try to figure out why the principal would do it, what they think it will help, I don't know. It just doesn't really seem to shock me anymore. I don't really feel like I could go to anyone in my school and complain about it. I'm not even sure of all of the facts myself, except for the fact that I've got 4 guest students in my room, one of which is reluctant to do anywork.

1. The 23 students in my room (one was absent) actually functioned relatively well. I was expecting more headaches about it, but they all seemed to know what they needed to get done today.
2. We were doing fact family practice and my kids were working relatively well in small groups. I need to lay down and review structure more the next time we do it, but I was proud because they all accomplished what I needed them to accomplish, which is that they be able to complete related subtraction facts for given addition facts.
3. We are trying to do a poetry project this week for writing and most of the students were able to follow the format I gave them. Even the more reluctant writers were able to get their work done. We will revise and edit them over the next couple of days.

I need this week to keep going well. There are too many bodies in my room for things to go wrong. They will understand what they need to accomplish and they will get it ready, and they will be ready for the tests on the 5th.

Day wow what happened?!?!

Classroom nearly fell apart today. Attitude from about half a dozen different children. One I had never seen attitude from all year. I had to spend some time just just writing notes home about behavior. I've got to nip it, or I will struggle the rest of the year. I blame two people, the one student that was removed from my room, and myself. My reactions have not always been the best or the most effective at diffusing any situations.

I also had some bad moments with the teacher I got students from. This morning there was an interesting exchange in which she cut me off to say, "No, you can't give any back." Only to smile a few seconds later and say that she was just playing. I was trying to ask her for books and materials so I could attempt to teach the students of hers. She insisted that I write down what I need so she can keep track of the things that had been checked out to her. Didn't quite know why she would need it all written down, since we are at the same school, and when the students go back to her room in two weeks they will just take the material back. When I sent one of her students to get them when we needed them in the morning she sent her TA over to say, "You need to write down the list, like Mrs. R- said for you to do this morning. She has got Mrs. D- in her monitoring her room this morning and you can't keep sending students over." I sent one student twice, only twice because he forgot the initial reason I sent him over there, book retrieval. So I acquiesced and wrote a rather professional looking index card (I was proud of it myself). I told my Grade Level Chair and she said that it was strange because she got all of her books earlier in the week, and didn't need to write anything down.

Flash forward later in the day, the end of it to be exact. One of her students asked if he could get his homework folder from her room. I said, "yes, we've got homework, you need your folder." So I said that he could go over there and get it. He returned with a bright pink post-it note. On it were written the words, (as close a reproduction as this blog text will allow) "I BOUGHT THOSE FOLDERS WITH MY OWN MONEY FOR USE IN MY CLASSROOM." Written in all caps, honest to god. In a matter of moments I was next door showing my GLC and she told me to take it to the principal. So after I got my kids all squared away I went to my principal about the incidents of the day. I told her about the interaction first thing this morning, and then about the post-it note at the end. I told her I would be able to cover the folders, that is not a problem (they are inexpensive). When I showed her the post-it her eyes seemed to open up a bit more. Almost a haughty "hmpf" sound emanated from her lips. She decided to keep the note, so we will see what happens tomorrow.

I'm sure there were gems of the day.

1. Monty is not as bad as I thought. After a mini-lesson on stretching words out to spell them (phonetic spelling) he was able to write out three sentences that he could read. I think he likes monster trucks.
2. A friend from the high school came in to observe today and he saw my kids during writing. A little bit earlier than he had told me he would come it, but it was one of the better moments of the day to actually come in to the room.
3. I sent Xander to my friend while I was working with Monty. We were back to the spongebob strike script. Carter could not understand what he was saying, but seemed to listen to him.

I want to say that my camera is ready for the black history month program tomorrow morning. Some first graders will be doing hand motions to the song "Worlds Greatest." This week has to end on a good note. Plus, I find out if I'll be working in Houston this summer. Fingers crossed for nervous sleep.

Day before Valentine's Day

This has certainly been a week for news. Yesterday I got the most profound statement from one of my students. Xander said, "when your parents say you're dumb, that means you can't get smart ever." Totally going against malleable intelligence. It took him five minutes to get that thought out, but I was proud of him for actually constructing that thought. My children are capable of profound statements, even the untrue ones. We quickly cleared that one up.

Long story of the week, only two days in.

One first grade teacher evidently received calls from 12 parents concerned about their students, so as a result, myself and the two other teachers have gotten those twelve students. We each got four, and now my number is up to 23 and hers is down to 6. They are with us for all of the day, except lunch and activity, because they are still on her roll. We just have three weeks to get them ready for the ITBS. All of the students that we got seem to be at varying levels, all below our class. Some of them are completely unfamiliar with routines. I even got one student that that could not read his own writing. Right now I don't have any of her students materials/books. That equipment has not been sent to me. When I asked her yesterday morning about one of her students, about two hours after they had been moved to my room, she said that she had a lot going on that morning and that I'd need to write it down and get back to her. I told my TA and we were both confused as to what she had going on that morning with a class a quarter of the normal size. I figured it was somewhere between nerve and gall.

Second bit of news. The student that had been defiant, and I thought I had removed from my class room will actually be returning to my room on Tuesday. He was never actually taken off my rolls. The return of him would put my numbers up to 24 students. I started this Monday with 19 and in a week I'll be up to 24. I'm still trying to get his behavior out of my other students. With that addition that would make me have 4 times as many students as she has in her classroom. I woudl seriously love to know what is going on with her. I even formed an opinion when I first met her during the summer. Did not like her then, and that was just based one the first day at the ARF camp with her.

Now on to some good things.

1. There was a dance at my school last night and I watched quite a few of my students dance their little feet off. It did a lot to put a smile on my face after a rough day.
2. I've actually gotten some slightly encouraging words from the other teachers in the grade. It's a shared problem that we all have so we are getting through it with a bit of humor.
3. We tried to do some group thinking and working today. It went alright for a first day.
4. I tried to focus on centers today and doing the work that is required, and most of them got it. It's something that I seriously need to work with. I do not feel like I am good at teaching them what they need to do, but most of them knew how to do the work today.

Fighting the good fight everyday.

Day of prolonged cruelty

Wow, my kids made it through the day. I'm not doubting their abilities, I'm admiring their staying power. To get ready for the ITBS test in four weeks we started to take a practice test. As a grade level we came up with the idea that we would go through the pratice math test today, look at the data, and figure out a way to divide up the grade among the 3/4 teachers...(another long story there). Well, we had to take a bit of time to get ready in the morning, but we started it around nine AM. After about 1 hour and 20 minutes later I decided my kids needed a brain break. The really cannot focus for more than an hour. So we took a brain break to sing a song, read a story, get a drink of water. The rest of the day was basically consumed by going over the test with them. I had them switch papers, and mark the wrong answers that their neighbors got. Wowly gosh. It really took the rest of the day to go over it. In trying to meet other people's expectations I've not really been able to provide the structure that my kids need right now. (Aside: Kids be wantin' stickers) My list today focuses primarily on Xander because he provided me with my favorite moments.

1. When the TA came to take him to the resource room he refused to get up. He shook his head "no" and did not want to get up. It took some encouraging words from the TA and myself to finall get him to go. It was heartwarming to see him want to stay in my room, especially when we were in the middle of massively brain-taxing testing.
2. When he came back from the resource room I tried to set him up with some writing task. I showed him a picture of a cat running. When I asked him to give me a sentence for him to write down he said, "The cat is running in the nude." Asking a clarifying question I asked, "What is, 'in the nude'?" He replied, "When you fold your clothes and run in the nude." I had to walk away very quickly and laugh with my TA.
3. When taking the test there was a picture of a performing elephant, with a hat and everything. He pointed it and said, "Happy, happy birthday to you." Result: Laughing with my TA again.
4. When I told the secretary (his aunt) about the "in the nude" comment she laughed and told me that he really likes my class. He moved into my class about a month and a half into the school year from another room. She said that he likes my room so much more than the last room he was in.

It's moments like those that let me know that I am making a difference and there are things that are going right in my classroom. Now let's see if I can include more struture into my room tomorrow.

Day of Tuesday

Reading test that I really don't want to talk about. IT was too long, and my students did not do as well as I know they can. I've been off in the classroom and the kids have been off as well. I've had a few attitudes crop up, and I'm trying to nip them in the bud.

1. D-Troope got one of the best scores in the class on the test. He only missed two of the 30 multiple choice questions. If he gets the help he needs, he can stay focused and do his work, and even do it well.
2. Alexander actually wrote a sentence for each open response question. For him, massive improvement. It was not contextually correct, but it was grammatically correct. That is a good start and something that we can improve.
3. Yesterday I did my phone interview for a summer job. It went well I think. I tried to keep my responses as natural as possible, even through the role-play.

I know it won't happen easily, but I would love two days in a row where we can stay on schedule and let me teach the kids what they need to be taught. Too many interruptions only runs counter to our production. So many of my kids need structure, and jumbling the schedule will not let them get what they need.

Most postive note of the day was dinner. I had a good dinner with two people at Pizza Hut, one of the new roommates and a kindergarten teacher. One of the best conversations I've had in a while. It put me in a good mindset for the evening.

Day after a long weekend

Three day weekend was full of laze. We had a snow day on Friday. I'll post a couple of pictures later this week. It was mostly melted when I finally got out of bed at 11 AM. The weekend was good though.

1. Got to catch up on sleep that was lacking, as well as a bit of planning, which was also lacking.
2. Spent some time with people and that made me feel good about myself.


I've been trying to think about the future, but right now I'm not coming up with anything. I was struck with the thought this weekend of, "why am I doing this." The fact that I could not easily come up with an answer gave me a slight concern. It's not a really good thing to be thinking the day before a phone interview. Right now I'd really like this summer job, but seeming to lack motivation for my current work is still a slight cause for concern. Right now I'm fine with what I do. I enjoy working with children, but right now I feel directionless. Almost like something is missing from my life. Like a hole that needs to be plugged. I've gota slight idea, but right now I'm unsure of how to fill it. Hopefully a week at school will straighten me out.

Day...February

So I've made it to February. Too many late nights this week. Have to get to bed earlier. Not been a perfect week, but it has been slightly enjoyable.

1. It is snowing right now. Not that I'm expecting a snow day, but it just looks nice. I look forward to seeing it in the morning.
2. My kids were actually able to accomplish self-selected center rotations without much trouble. It was the most quiet it has ever been during centers/small group.
3. I was told yesterday that the student I moved out of my room wants back in. I'm not gonna let him back that easy. I've basically erased all of his data. His behavior was unacceptable. He just needs to learn the lesson.
4. It feels like there has been increased testing from my kids. I take that as a good sign. It means that the students are starting to realize their limits, and now they are just checking to make sure how firm they are. And I will do my best to back up everything I say.

Next week I have the phone interview for my potential summer job. I've got to organize my room, do some planning work, but also get to bed at reasonable times. There may even be a Tuesday night pot-luck at my house in order to watch Wendy Kopp, the founder of TFA, on The Colbert Report. Tomorrow my kids take a test over material we initially covered before Christmas. Let's see how well they do.

Weekend

It was a long week. Only three days in the classroom but it felt like forever. Regaining control after being away was harder than it's ever been. Some good things did happen though.

1. I got DB switched out of my class Wednesday morning. He tried to come into my class on Thursday and on Friday he stood by my door, but I just turned him away, because he is not welcome in my classroom.
2. Xander was talking up a storm Thursday morning. He seemed to think everything he was saying was the funniest thing. The one he really liked was, "Could you tie my shoe?" He would say it and just start laughing.
3. My kids actually did well yesterday morning. When I was meeting with groups I let them pick what centers they went to. It actually went very well. I may be on to something here.

In the past week I've also realized that an idle mind contains negative thoughts, at least in me. I tend to think of myself as a rather mellow, easy-going person. But I do also have a jealous/competitive side. And, oh how I don't like it. The one thing I want the most right now seems to be the one thing I cannot gain or maintain. All this negative feeling does is make me harbor ill will towards a person. And this ill will is the worst feeling. Feeling very jealous of a person, to the point of wishing to distance myself from them in all possible ways, just so I no longer feel that jealous urge. Wondering, why not me. I have yet to find a reason why. And of course tonight was just filled with reminders of what I long for, and I am not sure if people really notice, but it does feel obvious, at least for me. There are only a couple of things that would be able to settle my mind, but distances seem great. There is a huge gap that needs to be crossed.

Day

Returned from the First Grade Teachers conference. It was interesting. I went with my assistant principal and another teacher/AP pair from one of the other elementary schools. Again I was about one of 5 guys, two of which were presenters/keynote speakers. Conferences are good for sort of renewing my spirit. Got some ideas, some of which I will try to implement in my classroom tomorrow morning. One thing I will need is sleep. Spent so much time by myself today (yeah, by myself in rooms of 20-200 other teachers, I'm kind of self-isolating that way) and I need sleep to quiet my mind. I'm also starting a wishlist on amazon.com I'll post a link to it some day this week. My goal is now to get books and such donated to my classroom for my students.

Day...why is this such a long week?

I didn't write yesterday because I was up late cleaning my house for potential housemates. That and I wasn't really sure how to say that one student of mine ran through the driveway of the school and almost into a car, because he would not listen to me. That situation has kind of exploded in an unsafe way. Today he decided to snake around under people's chairs and desks when I told him to go sit down at his desk. Right now he is beyond all help that I can give him.

1. Today I actually made it through small groups without and interruption (first time this week). Though I'm still not sure where my TA disappears to when she is not in my room.
On more personal notes.
2. I got to meet two potential housemates. One will actually be replacing my leaving housemate at the school. Kinda weird, like he's being swapped for another person. Both guys seem really good though.
3. I got an email saying that I have been invited to have a phone interview for a position at Institute in Houston this summer. Now I just need to figure out a good time to do that and I should get as ready as I can.

All in all, a good day. Only have one more day left this week, and on Sunday I leave for Little Rock for two nights at a conference. I hope more students are at school tomorrow, so we can actually get through Friday tests.

Day WOW Tuesday

geez!! Tuesdays...not exactly fun times, but we got through a bit.

1. The average growth for a couple more students was a year. They are slowly bringing my class average of growth up to about 1 whole grade level for everyone.
2. Kind of a backhanded one, but I started the day with five kids, though the number out changed every two hours for the first four hours of the day.
3. One of my troubled students is finally seeing a counselor. She is seeing the same counselor that my little girl saw last year. Whenthis girl came from the appointment, just was really closed off and not entirely herself. Unfortunately I never got the chance to follow up with her.
4. My kids seem to be getting money, which is a very good thing. I'm not sure why addition and subtraction was so difficult for my kids.

Today was a day for sure. Xander got sick and left early. Probably would have been better if he didn't show up today. He got to my door dragging tail. I'm easily able to pick out if he is feeling well or not and today was one of those days. We are thinking that a trigger may be chocolate milk, at least that's what his mom thinks. He got back to my room after lunch and was able to tell me a sentence (small proud moment), but it was a warning sentence, that there was impending doom-doom. And boy was there ever. Math was made very difficult, as my students had to wait outside so the room could air out.

I hope all of my students are feeling better tomorrow. I'd like to get all of my kids together before I take off for a conference next week.

Day...the conference didn't happen

Which is fine by me. It gave me time to work with my kids instead of having to deal with one individual issue. I really tried to start fresh today. There was a lot of explaination in gentle voices.

1. I graded the math test I gave my kids on fractions and only two of 19 got a 90% while the rest got 100%. Even Day'Q got a hundred, and we covered identifying fractions in one day, after he missed three days of explainations. Best class grade on a test ever. If only Eudie was there.
2. I introduced coins today and a couple already know how to count them, but most don't, which is why they are in school to learn. The best part of the money was it became a mini-history lesson explaining the people on the coins. Oh the mistaken identity of George Lincoln on the penny. The little ones do not have the greatest concept of time. "He was president 140 years ago." "Is he still alive?" "nope...actually some people didn't really like him so they killed him." "Like Martin Luther King. White people didn't like him so they shot him." "Actually Lincoln helped try to free the slaves and help black people, which is why some people wanted to shoot him."
3. Xander was able to tell me a complete sentence today. He was able to generate the sentence on his own, based on something that had just happened. To realize the full glory of this achievement you need to realize something. Whenever I asked him what had just happened, he would just point and say a name or word. Today they were in line for lunch and Jay was behind him. Xander raised his hand when I walked by and I asked what happened. He looked at me and with all the concentration he could muster he was able to squeeze out the words. "Jay...he tried...to...bite...my head." My mind just clicked at that sentence. I had to pull him out of the line and tell him how proud I was of him. It did not matter so much that Jay might have bumped in to him, I was more excited at the fact that Xander got a thought out.

Overall a good day. It's tough to say that a few students can change everything, but it's the truth. We'll see if the conference happens on Tuesday. We'll also have to see if my TA will come back on then as well. I'm beginning to suspect her, but I have no idea. She doesn't even stop in my room to let me know where she will be during the morning. I hope she is not the one that complained to the principal on me, but I don't really want to think about it. Too many good thinsg happened. The math test, Xander's sentence, playing basketball with D-Troope, and the mini-history lesson and personal connections. A gentle end to a raucous week.

Day...Hrm...almost

It was almost a good day. We were good from the time they stepped in till about 11:40 AM. Then it all fell apart, yeah, just kind of physically fell apart.

1. I had another student grow about one grade level. That brings the average growth of half my class to about .95 grade levels. I just have the other half left.
2. While some kids did forget to do some questions on the test the average on the math test, on fractions, seemed to be about 90%, which is what I'm gunning for.
3. Xander, who is out for most of math with us sat down and did the test, and he got a 90%. That is a very good for him, and I'm very proud that he sat through and did the whole test.
4. Kind of backhanded good thing, but I heard that one student is getting moved out of my class. There will be no lost sleep over it tonight.

And he won't be allowed back into a classroom unless his mother comes in for a conference.

Day ...18 times, 18 times

Wow. Today was interesting. My kids were incredibly tolerant of the student that was trying to make trouble and be a distraction. They all kept trying to do their work as decided that he would try to get on my nerves. Did not let him, did not give him the chance. Handled it calmly, even-toned voice, served 18 times.

1. Like I said, my kids were with me nearly all day and doing their best not to pay attention to the distractions. We need to keep this up for the rest of the week.
2. I had two students grow one grade level in reading. One of those students is one of my most hyperbodies. According to the speech pathologist she is an angel in my class compared to her kindergarten class.
3. There was a reptile show at my school today. A man brought frogs, monitor lizards, and snakes. It was fun because I got to hold/wear a milk snake and a burmese python.

Today made me feel good about my ability to handle problem students. I just need to keep it up for as long as it takes.

Day...what was that, conference again??

Today I started a behavior log (document, document, document). I see it basically becoming a slight rant book. And I will leave it at school. Conference with the principal and counselor...blah blah, processing problem...blah, blah, power struggle (I knew that). I need to not let him frustrate me, I know that. He was causing a massive distraction, and the whole class was telling him to stop, and he refused, and he refused to give me the offending pencils...blah, blah, blah. I really do not like to complain without a suggestion to fix something. And for this boy I'm tapped. Everyone else I can work with..........

1. Bouncing back emails with my best college roommate during the day was a wonderful distraction. His writing/thought/language has not changed much. Not being in the mood for interpretation during school it seemed rather cryptic, especially that last one. But he always kept me thinking, and for that I will be forever thankful.
2. I had another student post one full grade level gains in reading today. Class average of the 8 students I've reassesed is .93 grade levels in one semester. go me!
3. My kids were flying through fractions again today like they really got it. They were all able to identify 1/2, 1/3, and 1/4 and shade in the appropriate sections in a shape. This is the only time they have all gotten math at the same time so far this year.

bed before midnight, which is a milestone in its own right. I will not let any child win, and I will not let him control me and my reaction, and every child in my class will learn.

Day Monday Blues

Not necessarily a bad day, but another one of extremes.

1. I had one student, DB, post 1.4 grade levels in reading when I listened to him this morning. That is the biggest growth so far by a student.
2. All of my kids seemed to be able to identify fractions of 1/4 and 1/3. They seemed to be able to do the work remarkably well. It's interesting because for some of them addition and subtraction still baffle them.
3. I actually got Mr. Lane working with some students today. Mr. Lane is my foster grandparent. Sight is going, as well as hearing. We will slowly get him working in the classroom.

Also some not good things happened. I had one student have two major defiant trips. After the first one I'm almost positive that it is just defiance out of this boy, not any sort of disconnect.

Saddest bit of news I got. Speaking with a Speech Pathologist she said that she is not even sure why one of my students was in my class. She feels that he should not have even been promoted. She got his file out and the most disheartening thing I heard was that he got a 55 on an IQ test. Ouch! Also she said that he is very developmentally delayed.

But then again, if life were easy there would be more people alive. I did not take this job for an easy buck. I took it because I want to make a difference. The ones that are the lowest are the ones that can make the most significant gains.

Day ?!??!

Body sore from frisbee. Tummy nourished from good beef stew. No list tonight. Application still not submitted, but emails sent. Week mostly planned out. Found a free, fun game for the computer. Kind of like Guitar Hero, but just using the keyboard. And people can submit their own songs, so more open ended.

Got a tricky bit of news. Was told that one of my roommates will be leaving in two weeks. Where to, he does not know. He feels that God is calling him elsewhere. This has been his fifth year teaching. Just a couple of months ago he told me that he could never imagine leaving, and that people that leave in the middle of the year kind of irk him. He seems confused, but content. He has a trust in something that is not within him and he is willing to let that take him across the country. I truly wish him the best. In the past couple of weeks, since Christmas break, something in his life has changed. Many things have changed.

When people evoke God I really do not know what to say. I did the best thing that I could think at the time...I offered him beef stew.

Day yup

So it was an interesting day. A few things got done, I got blocked on a few others, and a student locked himself inside my bathroom, twice! But that is the way it goes some times.

1. C-Brown has improved over one grade level in reading and is now at about a second grade level! In one semester he went from sometime in mid-to-late kindergarten, all the way to second grade.
2. On the DSA spelling test 16 of 19 tested went on to the second level, compared with 3 of about 21 at the beginning of the school year. It is great to see growth.
3. I finally completed the first round of applications for summer Institute in Houston. I just need to submit them when the system decides it wants to work again.

Again another late night. I'm thinking it will be bed early tomorrow.

Day uh huh

Too late to want to type, but I shall proceed.

1. All of my students did their mid-year DIBELS assessments. I have not seen their scores, but my lit coach said that they all did very well.
2. I was able to reasses one of my students with the DRA, which can give their grade level equivalent in reading. The student, Kaydie, went from a level 4 to a level 14, which was equal to one whole grade level. The best record of student growth I have ever had with a student, one whole grade level in one semester.
3. On a more personal note I was able to update my resume finally. I'm actually kind of happy with how it turned out. More work will be done tomorrow before I try to apply for the jobs. My application and letter of intent are the doorway to a summer job in Texas.

Yes yes yes, I'm up too late, but that resume needed to get done. I'm trying to get better and I will not give up on my resolution yet. I did take a nap earlier, so I'll count that for sleep.

Day something or other...too long off

After a short break it was back to school at J. F. Wahl Elementary. The thing was not everyone seemed to get the memo...which leads me to number one for the day.

1. I was missing five students today. Not that I like it when they are absent, but missing 25% of my class on the first day after break kind of helped to smooth the transition back to work.
2. Dil-Bry was able to stay in the class all day. Probably did not handle it the best way (sort of went back on my word), but for over half the day, the last half, he was cheerful, participating, and working like I expect of everyone.
3. My Assistant Principal reminded me of the conference in Little Rock at the end of January and she had me fill out the registration form. That means in two weeks I'll be going back to Little Rock.
4. I got a memo from my Literacy coach that said we would be doing mid-year testing tomorrow. Normally that would have drawn groans, but I'm really looking forward to see how much my kids have grown in a couple of months. I'll also try to work with her to get DRA's done again to see what sort of reading level growth my kids have done.

In the new year it is good to reasses where I am and where I'm going. I've got to update my resume for a job application that is due Friday. I am also looking forward to the opportunity to replot my year. I've got to make significant gains, and if I can see whre shortcomings are I will have a better idea how to shore them up and give my kids the challenges and opportunities they need.