Sunday, February 25, 2007

Day of life

Today was good. I got up early, went to the gym for about an hour. I'm actually enjoying working out. When I came back the weather started to get interesting. Supposed to take an exam for Arkansas history, but a thunderstorm delayed it for an hour. After waiting for about 30 minutes after thunder I began the 65 minute exam. Around minute 50 I started to notice the sky getting dark and thunder starting up. About that time Phillips County was placed under a Tornado warning, one had been sighted in Dumas. We just had wind and rain (enough to flood portions of front and back yard). Rotational winds, but no tornadic activity. One did touch down one county north of us, in Lee County. Wasn't able to get to Memphis like I had originally planned, but I'm heading there on Friday to meet up with my sister and her boyfriend. Guess I'll have to take them with me shopping.

There was a Chinese New Years potluck at a corps members house and I went to that. Did not bring anything myself because I was doing other work today. I had a good time. After that there was a dance party at another house. Also fun, especially the salsa dancing instruction video.

Between parties my housemate asked me if I had any romantic interests here in the Delta. Answered him honestly and said no. I could not think of one that would be easy to act on. That which was there has kind of faded away. Not sure why, maybe reality setting in, or other reasons. Because there happen to be none does not mean that I would not like it, or have one elsewhere. Just kind of going through life. I just keep thinking of "Your My Home" by Billy Joel. The answer seems to be somewhere in there.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

and things happen

The parent called today, and for some reason the office buzzed me to talk to her, in the middle of class, on an already slightly chaotic day. There are days when I reflect on what has happened and I'm convinced that I'm a bad teacher and should not be doing what I'm doing. There are times when the bad things seem overwhelming and good is hard to track down. The general atmosphere in my room is not a good one. There is not the kind of hustle that I need in my classroom and as a result the kids are moving slow, long transitions, and more opportunities to talk with their neighbors. With a couple of kids I talked to today they were able to tell me that what they were doing was wrong and that they were making bad choices, but They still don't have that thought before they act. It's rough, there seems to be no consequence that stops them, and when I try to praise/reward them those that don't get it just get upset and the mood falls apart even more.

1. One good thing. For writing we did a sequence of events for a story we read on Tuesday. Nearly all of the students were able to tell me what happened at the beginning, the middle, and the end of the story. We'll see how that carries over into the test tomorrow on sequence.
2. McNeal came to my room this morning in a funk and, with a bit of prompting, I was able to get him to tell me what was making him upset. I'm trying to work on proper expression with him and he has started to internalize the messages and the proper actions. he still needs prompting and coaxing, but he knows what he should do, and that's a first step in anger management. He came up with some things that he could do to help his mood, but nothing can really help not getting good sleep. He tried so hard though.
3. Xander greeted me at the door with a very strong, "Helloooooo there." I just doubled over laughing at my door. He had never done anything like that first thing in the morning.

A new leaf needs to turn over in my room. I feel like I'm back to my first year with everything seeming to be out of control in my room.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Day...23 is a tough number to have

So my number has been 23 the past two days. If one student makes it to school it will make it a chart topping 24, one short of the legal limit. Yesterday went well, today kind of fell apart. One student decided that he wasn't going to work mid-way through the morning, but somehow made it back to my room after his mother was called. Gave me a headache, his behavior did, and I was not the best at coping with it.

Also learned something about a student that I didn't really need to know, and I really don't want to have to follow up and learn more about it and fact check. If it pans out to be true it becomes a problem greater than me. There havebeen glimpses of it and it makes me sad if it is true. And it's all about my focal student.

On to good things.

1. According to my grade level chair her kids grades are not that great this marking period either. Kind of wishing for kids to do bad, but not really. It just makes me realize that my kids are not the only ones having a problem since Christmas.
2. In the course of one math problem I was able to change a child's mood. Monty (a guest) went from crying face down on the carpet saying, "I can't do this," about addition and subtraction facts, all the way to me boosting his confidence and getting him smiling and laughing. If I could transfer that malleable intelligence to all my kids, I would be in a better spot. For now I'm content to get this student believing that he can accomplish.
3. Had dinner with a friend and good converstation.
4. Took a practice quiz for my AR History class and got a 5/5. Now I just need to figure out when I'm taking the actual first exam. It will happen by Sunday.

Right now I've got to sleep and think about what Seuss Book to decorate my door with. Never really decorated my door, so we'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

day of umm...excuse me?

Got called out by a parent in front of my kids...yeah that was fun. All over a pink hat...for a boy. Whatever. I may have been beaten into submission because nothing even seems ridiculous anymore. The fact that my numbers jumped to 24 because my principal moved students at a group of parents request, doesn't really get a reaction out of me, but of nearly everyone I tell, seems telling. I'm just going to plug away and do what I can to get the students ready for the test. Everyone I tell seems to try to figure out why the principal would do it, what they think it will help, I don't know. It just doesn't really seem to shock me anymore. I don't really feel like I could go to anyone in my school and complain about it. I'm not even sure of all of the facts myself, except for the fact that I've got 4 guest students in my room, one of which is reluctant to do anywork.

1. The 23 students in my room (one was absent) actually functioned relatively well. I was expecting more headaches about it, but they all seemed to know what they needed to get done today.
2. We were doing fact family practice and my kids were working relatively well in small groups. I need to lay down and review structure more the next time we do it, but I was proud because they all accomplished what I needed them to accomplish, which is that they be able to complete related subtraction facts for given addition facts.
3. We are trying to do a poetry project this week for writing and most of the students were able to follow the format I gave them. Even the more reluctant writers were able to get their work done. We will revise and edit them over the next couple of days.

I need this week to keep going well. There are too many bodies in my room for things to go wrong. They will understand what they need to accomplish and they will get it ready, and they will be ready for the tests on the 5th.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Day wow what happened?!?!

Classroom nearly fell apart today. Attitude from about half a dozen different children. One I had never seen attitude from all year. I had to spend some time just just writing notes home about behavior. I've got to nip it, or I will struggle the rest of the year. I blame two people, the one student that was removed from my room, and myself. My reactions have not always been the best or the most effective at diffusing any situations.

I also had some bad moments with the teacher I got students from. This morning there was an interesting exchange in which she cut me off to say, "No, you can't give any back." Only to smile a few seconds later and say that she was just playing. I was trying to ask her for books and materials so I could attempt to teach the students of hers. She insisted that I write down what I need so she can keep track of the things that had been checked out to her. Didn't quite know why she would need it all written down, since we are at the same school, and when the students go back to her room in two weeks they will just take the material back. When I sent one of her students to get them when we needed them in the morning she sent her TA over to say, "You need to write down the list, like Mrs. R- said for you to do this morning. She has got Mrs. D- in her monitoring her room this morning and you can't keep sending students over." I sent one student twice, only twice because he forgot the initial reason I sent him over there, book retrieval. So I acquiesced and wrote a rather professional looking index card (I was proud of it myself). I told my Grade Level Chair and she said that it was strange because she got all of her books earlier in the week, and didn't need to write anything down.

Flash forward later in the day, the end of it to be exact. One of her students asked if he could get his homework folder from her room. I said, "yes, we've got homework, you need your folder." So I said that he could go over there and get it. He returned with a bright pink post-it note. On it were written the words, (as close a reproduction as this blog text will allow) "I BOUGHT THOSE FOLDERS WITH MY OWN MONEY FOR USE IN MY CLASSROOM." Written in all caps, honest to god. In a matter of moments I was next door showing my GLC and she told me to take it to the principal. So after I got my kids all squared away I went to my principal about the incidents of the day. I told her about the interaction first thing this morning, and then about the post-it note at the end. I told her I would be able to cover the folders, that is not a problem (they are inexpensive). When I showed her the post-it her eyes seemed to open up a bit more. Almost a haughty "hmpf" sound emanated from her lips. She decided to keep the note, so we will see what happens tomorrow.

I'm sure there were gems of the day.

1. Monty is not as bad as I thought. After a mini-lesson on stretching words out to spell them (phonetic spelling) he was able to write out three sentences that he could read. I think he likes monster trucks.
2. A friend from the high school came in to observe today and he saw my kids during writing. A little bit earlier than he had told me he would come it, but it was one of the better moments of the day to actually come in to the room.
3. I sent Xander to my friend while I was working with Monty. We were back to the spongebob strike script. Carter could not understand what he was saying, but seemed to listen to him.

I want to say that my camera is ready for the black history month program tomorrow morning. Some first graders will be doing hand motions to the song "Worlds Greatest." This week has to end on a good note. Plus, I find out if I'll be working in Houston this summer. Fingers crossed for nervous sleep.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Day before Valentine's Day

This has certainly been a week for news. Yesterday I got the most profound statement from one of my students. Xander said, "when your parents say you're dumb, that means you can't get smart ever." Totally going against malleable intelligence. It took him five minutes to get that thought out, but I was proud of him for actually constructing that thought. My children are capable of profound statements, even the untrue ones. We quickly cleared that one up.

Long story of the week, only two days in.

One first grade teacher evidently received calls from 12 parents concerned about their students, so as a result, myself and the two other teachers have gotten those twelve students. We each got four, and now my number is up to 23 and hers is down to 6. They are with us for all of the day, except lunch and activity, because they are still on her roll. We just have three weeks to get them ready for the ITBS. All of the students that we got seem to be at varying levels, all below our class. Some of them are completely unfamiliar with routines. I even got one student that that could not read his own writing. Right now I don't have any of her students materials/books. That equipment has not been sent to me. When I asked her yesterday morning about one of her students, about two hours after they had been moved to my room, she said that she had a lot going on that morning and that I'd need to write it down and get back to her. I told my TA and we were both confused as to what she had going on that morning with a class a quarter of the normal size. I figured it was somewhere between nerve and gall.

Second bit of news. The student that had been defiant, and I thought I had removed from my class room will actually be returning to my room on Tuesday. He was never actually taken off my rolls. The return of him would put my numbers up to 24 students. I started this Monday with 19 and in a week I'll be up to 24. I'm still trying to get his behavior out of my other students. With that addition that would make me have 4 times as many students as she has in her classroom. I woudl seriously love to know what is going on with her. I even formed an opinion when I first met her during the summer. Did not like her then, and that was just based one the first day at the ARF camp with her.

Now on to some good things.

1. There was a dance at my school last night and I watched quite a few of my students dance their little feet off. It did a lot to put a smile on my face after a rough day.
2. I've actually gotten some slightly encouraging words from the other teachers in the grade. It's a shared problem that we all have so we are getting through it with a bit of humor.
3. We tried to do some group thinking and working today. It went alright for a first day.
4. I tried to focus on centers today and doing the work that is required, and most of them got it. It's something that I seriously need to work with. I do not feel like I am good at teaching them what they need to do, but most of them knew how to do the work today.

Fighting the good fight everyday.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Day of prolonged cruelty

Wow, my kids made it through the day. I'm not doubting their abilities, I'm admiring their staying power. To get ready for the ITBS test in four weeks we started to take a practice test. As a grade level we came up with the idea that we would go through the pratice math test today, look at the data, and figure out a way to divide up the grade among the 3/4 teachers...(another long story there). Well, we had to take a bit of time to get ready in the morning, but we started it around nine AM. After about 1 hour and 20 minutes later I decided my kids needed a brain break. The really cannot focus for more than an hour. So we took a brain break to sing a song, read a story, get a drink of water. The rest of the day was basically consumed by going over the test with them. I had them switch papers, and mark the wrong answers that their neighbors got. Wowly gosh. It really took the rest of the day to go over it. In trying to meet other people's expectations I've not really been able to provide the structure that my kids need right now. (Aside: Kids be wantin' stickers) My list today focuses primarily on Xander because he provided me with my favorite moments.

1. When the TA came to take him to the resource room he refused to get up. He shook his head "no" and did not want to get up. It took some encouraging words from the TA and myself to finall get him to go. It was heartwarming to see him want to stay in my room, especially when we were in the middle of massively brain-taxing testing.
2. When he came back from the resource room I tried to set him up with some writing task. I showed him a picture of a cat running. When I asked him to give me a sentence for him to write down he said, "The cat is running in the nude." Asking a clarifying question I asked, "What is, 'in the nude'?" He replied, "When you fold your clothes and run in the nude." I had to walk away very quickly and laugh with my TA.
3. When taking the test there was a picture of a performing elephant, with a hat and everything. He pointed it and said, "Happy, happy birthday to you." Result: Laughing with my TA again.
4. When I told the secretary (his aunt) about the "in the nude" comment she laughed and told me that he really likes my class. He moved into my class about a month and a half into the school year from another room. She said that he likes my room so much more than the last room he was in.

It's moments like those that let me know that I am making a difference and there are things that are going right in my classroom. Now let's see if I can include more struture into my room tomorrow.

Day of Tuesday

Reading test that I really don't want to talk about. IT was too long, and my students did not do as well as I know they can. I've been off in the classroom and the kids have been off as well. I've had a few attitudes crop up, and I'm trying to nip them in the bud.

1. D-Troope got one of the best scores in the class on the test. He only missed two of the 30 multiple choice questions. If he gets the help he needs, he can stay focused and do his work, and even do it well.
2. Alexander actually wrote a sentence for each open response question. For him, massive improvement. It was not contextually correct, but it was grammatically correct. That is a good start and something that we can improve.
3. Yesterday I did my phone interview for a summer job. It went well I think. I tried to keep my responses as natural as possible, even through the role-play.

I know it won't happen easily, but I would love two days in a row where we can stay on schedule and let me teach the kids what they need to be taught. Too many interruptions only runs counter to our production. So many of my kids need structure, and jumbling the schedule will not let them get what they need.

Most postive note of the day was dinner. I had a good dinner with two people at Pizza Hut, one of the new roommates and a kindergarten teacher. One of the best conversations I've had in a while. It put me in a good mindset for the evening.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Day after a long weekend

Three day weekend was full of laze. We had a snow day on Friday. I'll post a couple of pictures later this week. It was mostly melted when I finally got out of bed at 11 AM. The weekend was good though.

1. Got to catch up on sleep that was lacking, as well as a bit of planning, which was also lacking.
2. Spent some time with people and that made me feel good about myself.


I've been trying to think about the future, but right now I'm not coming up with anything. I was struck with the thought this weekend of, "why am I doing this." The fact that I could not easily come up with an answer gave me a slight concern. It's not a really good thing to be thinking the day before a phone interview. Right now I'd really like this summer job, but seeming to lack motivation for my current work is still a slight cause for concern. Right now I'm fine with what I do. I enjoy working with children, but right now I feel directionless. Almost like something is missing from my life. Like a hole that needs to be plugged. I've gota slight idea, but right now I'm unsure of how to fill it. Hopefully a week at school will straighten me out.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Day...February

So I've made it to February. Too many late nights this week. Have to get to bed earlier. Not been a perfect week, but it has been slightly enjoyable.

1. It is snowing right now. Not that I'm expecting a snow day, but it just looks nice. I look forward to seeing it in the morning.
2. My kids were actually able to accomplish self-selected center rotations without much trouble. It was the most quiet it has ever been during centers/small group.
3. I was told yesterday that the student I moved out of my room wants back in. I'm not gonna let him back that easy. I've basically erased all of his data. His behavior was unacceptable. He just needs to learn the lesson.
4. It feels like there has been increased testing from my kids. I take that as a good sign. It means that the students are starting to realize their limits, and now they are just checking to make sure how firm they are. And I will do my best to back up everything I say.

Next week I have the phone interview for my potential summer job. I've got to organize my room, do some planning work, but also get to bed at reasonable times. There may even be a Tuesday night pot-luck at my house in order to watch Wendy Kopp, the founder of TFA, on The Colbert Report. Tomorrow my kids take a test over material we initially covered before Christmas. Let's see how well they do.